How superpowers can help the Japanese, Libyan’s, and defeat Charlie Sheen

Things just keep getting worse in international affairs and international disasters.

Not that there ever was a time when civilization was ever free of global conflict, natural disasters, economical despair, and/or social upheaval.

It’s been quite a week with Japan surviving an epic earthquake and ensuing aftermath, the Libyan conflict going international as NATO forces join in, and Charlie Sheen about to go on tour.

Naturally, It got me thinking the kind of superpowers I would require to help minimize the damage of these aforementioned disasters.

Flight

Purely practical.  I can’t take a plane to Libya unless it’s aboard a military plane, and I doubt there are any good in-flight movies on an F-16 fighter jet. 

Flying to Japan too is out of the question.  Not that’s it’s physically impossible; but with the country getting hit with devastating disaster after devastating disaster, I feel it is a significant possibility to be attacked from the sky by Mothra.

I would definitely want flight to try and stop Charlie Sheen from his every growing ego and craziness; if for no other reason but to say to Mr. Tiger Blood “you think you’re high?”

Super Strength

A must for any superhero.  To take on a supervillian madman like Muammar Gaddafi, I need to have a physical presence.  A leader who would fire on demonstrators right out of the gate needs to be intimidated before toppled.  More significantly it would help if his remaining supporters were to switch over to the side of democracy.

There is no doubt I would need super strength in Japan.  With infrastructure dismantled and buildings collapsed, I could be of much assistance clearing the way for the Japanese to rebuild. 

To defeat Charlie Sheen I need to have the Charlie Sheen’s one gear—‘GO’.  I don’t even think that will be enough to defeat the man with a ‘Warlock brain’.

Control over Forces of Nature

Even though there has already been an earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruption, and nuclear crisis, I think this control would be able to assist the Japanese people.  I would like to say to the Japanese:  “You’ve been through the worst, now you can relax.  I will make sure this the last natural disaster you’ll have to endure—I’ll stop them from here on in.”  While at it I would be sure to cool down that nuclear power plant.

I would then use my powers to impose biblical type plagues over Gaddafi’s strongholds.  I would go old school—water into blood, locusts, boils, etc.  For a man who claims divine powers to be on his side, these might just get through to him.

In the case of Charlie Sheen, he is a force of nature.  To defeat him, I must become him.  I must destroy him and his ‘fire breathing fists.’

With all these powers in order I just need a badass name and I’m off to save the world from its most dangerous threats-- I’m thinking MegaMike.