Headlines Of the Day

India beats Pakistan in cricket-- I'm told it was exciting

An event so huge even the Prime Minister got involved for a photo op.

I spent a good chunk of the day trying to figure out the sport.  From what I can tell, if you were born into a cricket family or nation, it’s the most exciting thing ever. Otherwise don’t even try. 

“Pace bowler took 5-46 in India's 260-9 while Pakistan was dropped four times on way to 85.” I thought the two countries finally started a nuclear war.  Scared the hell out of me .

He said he’d be back

California governor Arnold Swartzenegger is returning to what he does best—kicking ass.

By kicking ass, I don’t mean filing form T-7 under California legislation that allows for proposition 22 to be passed after a committee to discuss.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry feel asleep while typing.

He’s not governing, he’s the governator.  With Comic Book messiah Stan Lee as a partner of the project, Arnold will be an animated character called (of course) the Governator.

I guess animated is the better choice for the 63 year old’s return to acting. I’m sure he’s in amazing shape for his age, but I really don’t want to see what gravity has done to those massive pecks.

Leaf’s make a late playoff run  

After an epic 4-3 win over Buffalo, can the down and out team make an epic comeback that will restore hope to Leaf Nation?

Can 2011 be the year that the blue and white beat the mathematically improbable odds and make a run for the Stanley Cup?

Can captain Dion Phaneuf under the guidance of head coach Ron Wilson do the unthinkable?

Read below for in depth analysis.

IN DEPTH ANALYISIS

Not a chance.

How superpowers can help the Japanese, Libyan’s, and defeat Charlie Sheen

Things just keep getting worse in international affairs and international disasters.

Not that there ever was a time when civilization was ever free of global conflict, natural disasters, economical despair, and/or social upheaval.

It’s been quite a week with Japan surviving an epic earthquake and ensuing aftermath, the Libyan conflict going international as NATO forces join in, and Charlie Sheen about to go on tour.

Naturally, It got me thinking the kind of superpowers I would require to help minimize the damage of these aforementioned disasters.

Flight

Purely practical.  I can’t take a plane to Libya unless it’s aboard a military plane, and I doubt there are any good in-flight movies on an F-16 fighter jet. 

Flying to Japan too is out of the question.  Not that’s it’s physically impossible; but with the country getting hit with devastating disaster after devastating disaster, I feel it is a significant possibility to be attacked from the sky by Mothra.

I would definitely want flight to try and stop Charlie Sheen from his every growing ego and craziness; if for no other reason but to say to Mr. Tiger Blood “you think you’re high?”

Super Strength

A must for any superhero.  To take on a supervillian madman like Muammar Gaddafi, I need to have a physical presence.  A leader who would fire on demonstrators right out of the gate needs to be intimidated before toppled.  More significantly it would help if his remaining supporters were to switch over to the side of democracy.

There is no doubt I would need super strength in Japan.  With infrastructure dismantled and buildings collapsed, I could be of much assistance clearing the way for the Japanese to rebuild. 

To defeat Charlie Sheen I need to have the Charlie Sheen’s one gear—‘GO’.  I don’t even think that will be enough to defeat the man with a ‘Warlock brain’.

Control over Forces of Nature

Even though there has already been an earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruption, and nuclear crisis, I think this control would be able to assist the Japanese people.  I would like to say to the Japanese:  “You’ve been through the worst, now you can relax.  I will make sure this the last natural disaster you’ll have to endure—I’ll stop them from here on in.”  While at it I would be sure to cool down that nuclear power plant.

I would then use my powers to impose biblical type plagues over Gaddafi’s strongholds.  I would go old school—water into blood, locusts, boils, etc.  For a man who claims divine powers to be on his side, these might just get through to him.

In the case of Charlie Sheen, he is a force of nature.  To defeat him, I must become him.  I must destroy him and his ‘fire breathing fists.’

With all these powers in order I just need a badass name and I’m off to save the world from its most dangerous threats-- I’m thinking MegaMike.

The "Worst Beverage in America" is now at a Tim Horton’s Near You

The worst beverage in America has travelled north of the 44th parallel and found a home in Canada’s comfort cafe– Tim Hortons.

Cold Stone Creamery and their delicious belt busting ice cream desserts, along with their infamous milkshakes can now be found at 17 locations in the golden horseshoe.

How bad is this new treat to beat the summertime heat?

***SPOILER ALERT***

If you wish to truly enjoy a Cold Stone Creamery shake you’ll probably want to stop reading at this point. Ignorance is bliss.

The large size peanut butter and chocolate milkshake (the least healthy of the varieties) packs a whopping 2010 calories, 131 grams of fat, and 58 grams of saturated fat.

Is it worth it?

Well I had to know. I opted to go for the small size, which only contains a mere (I use that term quite loosely) 1250 calories.

Though it was fantastic, it is difficult to separate the ultra rich taste from the overwhelming feeling of guilt.

Consume a large one and you missed your opportunity to gorge on 68 strips of bacon according to Men’s Health Fitness Magazine. Furthermore, there is not a single size or variety of milkshake that contains fewer than 1,000 calories.

I decided to look into how this fares compared to the most unhealthy drinks already for sale in Canada.

Here’s how the Cold Stone Creamery shake fares against the popular dessert drink at other popular fast food restaurants located in Canada.


Tim Horton’s- Cold Stone Creamery: Large Peanut Butter and Chocolate Shake: 2010 calories 131 grams of fat 68 grams of saturated fat.
A&W: Large Chocolate Shake: 1720 Calories 47 Grams of fat 30 grams of saturated fat.
McDonald’s: Large Chocolate Milkshake: 1160 calories 29 grams of fat 18 grams of saturated fat.
Burger King: Large Chocolate Shake: 950 calories 13 grams of fat 8 grams of saturated fat.
Harvey’s: Chocolate Shake: 730 calories 33 grams of fat 21 grams of saturated fat.
KFC: Triple Chocolate Krusher: 660 calories 34 grams of fat 25 grams of saturated fat.
Arby’s: Chocolate Shake: 570 calories 15 grams of fat 7 grams of saturated fat.
Wendy’s: Chocolate Fudge Frosty Shake: 540 calories 13 grams of fat 8 grams of saturated fat.

Though A&W comes pretty close in the early grave monster calorie category, nothing really compares to the worst drink in America.

I never thought that I could make a healthy choice and go for a 540 calorie shake.

So the question remains: To indulge or not to indulge.

Much like anything in life, moderation is the key.

Personally speaking though, I’ll gladly have a sip if a friend offers; but something this bad I think I’ll wait for an out of this world good day or an unbelievably bad day to justify such abuse on my body.