Let’s all Fear the Swine

Get off the streets! Wear a mask ! Fear thy neighbour! It’s a pandemic!

The World Health Organization announced yesterday the Swine flu is at a pandemic alert level of 5 out of 6. This means at least two countries had cases of human-to-human contact. A full blown pandemic is imminent according to the WHO.

So what does this mean for the average person? Well it appears to me that these warnings are there to both get all governments on board with taking precautions and to scare the crap out of individuals so everyone takes precautions.

Is panic really the best way to go about containment? Now, with the exception of Mexico, the world is full of leaders telling people not to live in fear, whereas the opposite message is coming out of the WHO. US VP Joe Biden further gave mixed signals by saying that he is telling his children to avoid public transit and air travel on NBC’s today show.

Now I feel it is my responsibility as a concerned Canadian citizen to remain calm and treat those with a cough as a leper.

I remember these mixed signals with SARS. Living in Toronto, I was on the tail end of the full blown scare. Tourism died, but on the upside I went to the kick-ass Rolling Stones concert ‘SARS stock’– as it was informally dubbed.

Fear, though effective in providing a stern warning, doesn’t really help us out as a community. If the economy isn’t struggling enough already, we should now board up our windows and sit with a loaded shotgun in the basement? There must be a better way.

Not being a doctor or a pandemic historian, I realize that certain excessive precautions may be taken. 

What seems like overkill may be necessary.

I’ll do my best to take the recommended precautions, but I can’t put my life on hold for something I can’t control. This is a time when we need to solve the problem as a global community. Instating a ‘fear’ policy may weaken our ability to act together.

I’m reserving my tickets for yet to be created ’Swine fest’ concert.

Hockey in Vaughn

Hockey team in Vaughn? I’m all for it.

I admit I’m not the biggest hockey fan. I enjoy the occasional game and will hop on the bandwagon. The idea of having another hockey option excites me nevertheless.

What intrigues me most is the idea that maybe I could afford to go to an NHL game. The price to see the leafs is out of hand. I feel that there are three types of people who attend leaf games: Business men who are impressing clients, friends and family of businessmen who couldn’t unload their tickets to advance their career or business, and other. The other includes the die hards who will just bend over and take the outrages prices of the ACC, and the occasional hockey game goer who found a great price off a scalper or was treated to a gift.

Those in the first two categories really sully the atmosphere in the arena. After all cheering too hard can result in a nice suit getting dirty. Or worse, it might appear ‘unproffessional’.

The addition of a in-town rival should be healthy for the city. A rivalry will give Torontonians an outlet for communication. We will acquire a new universal conversation topic: “Are you a Leafs fan or a Vaughn fan?”

But the biggest reason of them all is that Americans will talk about Toronto. Like any good Canadian, I love hearing about anything Canadian in the media south of the border.

We can handle another team. If the team is a third as popular in the hockey crazy city, we have a financially viable and potentially competitive organization.

Here’s a feel good story

We left 20 wallets around the GTA. Most came back.

The Toronto Star left a wallet with just under $50 and personal effects in various places around the city two weeks ago. To date 17 have been returned.

Kudos to the Star for conducting this admittedly unscientific experiment. I wonder if the family photos left in the wallet tugged the heartstrings just enough to warrant a return.

I feel I’m an honest enough person and would do what I can to return lost items. In the past, I’ve thought to myself “good thing I found this and not some low life.” Though perhaps I think too highly of myself. This article is a great example of the willingness of people to take the higher ground and help a fellow out.

When finding a wallet or a lost item you are presented with three options: (1) Ignore the item (2) Steal it (3) Do what you can to return it. The third option is the only that requires work with no reward but the satisfaction of doing the right thing. I suppose if you’re a firm believer of karma, you may return it hoping rewards in the future.

Sometimes its hard to see people as inherently good especially in the busy metropolitan. Albeit returning a wallet is a small act and doesn’t really make a person a saint. However I, and I’m confident many other who will read this story take solace in the knowledge that strangers do help strangers.

Wanna be a pirate?

I want to be a pirate. No question. It looks to be a booming industry.

This is an absolutely a recession proof business. Let’s look at the elements. The further the world economy shrinks, the less funds will be available to put into respective coast guards. Ships will always need to transport. In addition, the start up costs aren’t that much. I’m sure it would be easy to garner the support of a crew with a piece meal agreement and perhaps a per diem for periods of being docked prior to an attempt at boarding.

Beyond that all that is required is a boat. A used boat can be purchased on EBay for around $7000. You’ll probably need a few shotguns. A Mossberg sells for about $300 on www.thegunsource.com. I figure about 5 are in order. Also a few bad-ass knives are essential. On the same site you can purchase Boker knives for $130 bucks a pop.

Of course aesthetics are essential. An eye patch runs for about $5. And of course, where would a pirate be without his parrot? An African Grey Timneh can be purchased for around $200.

Boarding a ship can be tricky. A rope ladder with a hook on the end appears to be the standard, so you’ll have to rig up one of those.

So to recap, start up costs for this flourishing industry are about $9500. It’s good to get in now as the industry may soon become ‘flooded’ with the recent media coverage.

So fellow pirate wannabes, heed my advice and look to the seas. This 18th century business promises nothing but success. Light up those Captain Blacks and unscrew the bottles of rum. Get ready to dive into a pool of gold and cash– Scrooge McDuck style of course.

On a side note, the ability to dodge a sniper bullet courtesy of the US Navy is an asset.